


quiet

by guttersvoice



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:37:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guttersvoice/pseuds/guttersvoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru often means more things than he says, and by this point, Makoto finds he's gotten pretty good at translating. This time, he means 'please stay with me' and 'I don't want to be alone', and Makoto smiles. He steps out of his shoes, and Haru's shoulders untense a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	quiet

**Author's Note:**

> a fanfic for yamasenn, and the sort of length people will get if you commission me for fic (though i have a tendency to get carried away and it could get longer.)
> 
> it’s about the night after the first day of tournament prelims, after haruka agreed to swim the relay
> 
> it’s also about loving an introvert, and knowing when to push them, and when not to

Makoto goes to leave, and Haruka's hand is still on his arm, fingers curling tighter around his wrist as he tries to walk past.

"Your house is a walk away," Haru mumbles, eyes fixed on the floor. "And it's dark."

Haru often means more things than he says, and by this point, Makoto finds he's gotten pretty good at translating. This time, he means 'please stay with me' and 'I don't want to be alone', and Makoto smiles. He steps out of his shoes, and Haru's shoulders untense a little.

"Have you eaten?" he asks, and Haru shakes his head. He opens his mouth to offer to make something, but Haru is already entering the kitchen.

Makoto sighs, shakes his head, smiles. Haruka is an enigma in many ways, but he's nothing if not predictable once you know him well enough, and Makoto is pretty sure he knows him by this point. They've been friends long enough, after all.

Haruka cooks himself some mackerel, and Makoto makes two attempts at small talk while he eats, neither of which really go anywhere.

On his third attempt, Haruka's name is punctuated halfway through with a yawn, and for the first time since Makoto agreed to stay the night, Haruka actually looks at him, rather than through him. It always startles Makoto when that happens, even after all these years; life enters those blue eyes the way it only ever does when Haru is thinking about water. Makoto considers it an honour every time it happens, and it still makes his stomach flip sometimes. It's such an intense gaze, who can blame him?

"I'm tired," Haruka states as he stands up to dump his plate in the sink - 'I'm sorry for keeping you up so late', he means, Makoto thinks, though he's not so sure. Maybe just 'you're tired'. Haru stops by the door, eyes fixed on his feet, eyebrows drawn together in a frown. "No," he corrects himself, to Makoto's surprise; he almost stumbles halfway through standing up. "I'm sorry. You're tired. You could have been home by now."

They're simple words, but they mean a lot to Makoto, and he smiles broadly at his friend.

"I wanted to stay," he tells Haru, and the words are truer than he'd thought. He'd been relieved, more than anything, when Haru had grabbed hold of him.

Haruka's expression clears, and he looks up at Makoto in what could either be understanding or gratitude. He isn't sure, but it doesn't really matter. They've both said what they needed to, after all.

Well.

Makoto has a lot more he wants to say to Haruka that he hasn't managed to get beyond imagined conversations and daydreams. Phrasing it the right way is the issue, he thinks. It isn't a crush, not anymore. He just...cares very deeply for the other boy, and feels responsible for him a lot of the time. He wants to stay beside him forever, if he can, but communicating that to Haruka is - just thinking about it makes Makoto blush.

Of course, all that isn't to say that the physical side of a relationship has nothing to do with it. Anyone can tell that Haruka is beautiful, just looking at him, and Makoto has watched his friend blossom since they were very small. He's thought about it plenty, and it doesn't help that he knows Haru's body almost as well as he knows his own by this point, thanks to swimming together with him. Even just kissing would be nice; he's daydreamed about it occasionally, but in the end he always finds his imaginary Haru as distracted as the real one.

Makoto doesn't mind. It wouldn't be right if Haru changed too much from the introspective, quiet boy with communication difficulties that he is now.

Besides, from what he can tell, Haru's only interest, other than swimming, is Rin.

And there's no way Makoto can compete.

This entire train of thought lasts for only a short time, while the two of them brush their teeth and make their way to Haruka's bedroom.

Normally, when Makoto stays overnight at Haruka's, they lay out the futon for him to sleep on the floor. Today, Haru climbs straight into bed, sitting up under his duvet and watching Makoto almost expectantly.

He isn't sure what he's supposed to do, and hesitates instead. Should he prepare the futon himself?

And then Haru frowns a little, and looks at the space next to him in his bed, and Makoto's heart skips a beat.

So they're sharing.

The bed is really too small for the both of them, but Haru pulls and rearranges Makoto's arms until the two of them are facing each other, noses barely an inch apart, and Makoto is holding the smaller boy in his arms.

He wonders, for a second, if Haru has known about his feelings the whole time. It wouldn't be that much of a surprise: Haru is always surprisingly perceptive when it comes to his friends feelings, so it wouldn't be unusual if he'd picked up on it. Just a bit embarrassing.

Haru's eyes are lit up by the streetlights and the moonlight through the window. They look like the deepest pools Makoto could conceive of, as they always do, and they're more intense than he can bear. He wants to kiss him, or run away, but he just stays very still, instead. If Haru does or says something, Makoto will go along with it - as he always does.

Haru opens his mouth, perhaps to speak, and then looks away, frowning.

He's gathering words up in his head, something he has to do fairly often; Makoto's watched him do this countless times. So he waits, patient and just about smiling, for Haru to find what he wants to say.

"Thanks," he says, eventually. "For staying."

There's something else he wants to say, Makoto thinks, so he doesn't respond right away.

"And for holding me. Sorry."

Makoto can't tell exactly what Haru means by that.

"Sorry for what, Haru?" he asks, and Haruka's face crumples. That's something he's never seen before. Even earlier, when he lost to Rin, Haru's face had stayed relatively clear, despite the shock. Now, he looks lost and frightened and more unsure of himself than ever.

Makoto isn't sure what to do, but Haru interrupts him before he can speak.

"For not noticing you until now," he explains, though it's still pretty unclear to Makoto what he's trying to say. "I couldn't - It was like - I --"

He stops, frowning in frustration at himself, and Makoto knows exactly what to do here, has done a thousand times before. He rests his hand on Haru's shoulder and smiles, and the boy instantly relaxes.

"Rin was in the way," he says, expression stony, like he's finding a path in the dark, feeling out each word before he says it, and it's Makoto's turn to frown, because that makes even less sense. "So when my gaze was taken off him, I could see you properly. I watched you swim, and..."

He stops, like an out-of-shape runner catching their breath. It's hard for Haru to have proper conversations about his own thoughts and feelings. Makoto doesn't rush him.

"And I remembered. A lot of things." Haru's eyes are fixed on his again, and Makoto finds his cheeks flushing uncontrollably. "You've always been by my side. Sorry."

Makoto understands, or thinks he does, at least.

Haruka means 'I'm sorry it took me so long to realise that Rin is an asshole'.

Well, perhaps Makoto's own feelings are tainting his translation a little.

He means 'I don't have to think about Rin. I'm free, now.' perhaps.

Maybe that's a little optimistic.

But he doesn't have time to think too hard about that, because Haru has shifted towards him in the bed, and very carefully and thoughtfully pressed their mouths together.

It's a brief kiss, but it leaves Makoto breathless.

Haru's face is as red as his, now, and his eyes are everywhere but on Makoto. He's never seen his friend this flustered, and his heart thuds at the idea that he's done that. He's the one that's caused that expression on Haru's face. He smiles reassuringly at Haru, pushing a lock of hair out of those blue eyes.

"Thank you for noticing me, Haru," he murmurs, and the relief that washes over Haru's face is almost palpable.

He kisses Haru, as shortly and gently as the last kiss, but it's an answer, in a way.

Neither of them say anything for a while. They lie in the moonlight and the streetlight, silent and watching each other, completely comfortable in each other's arms. For a moment, Makoto finds himself thinking that perhaps he could be where Haru belongs, rather than in the water. He knows he can't. But he belongs this close to Haru, and it's where Haru wants him.

That's all he's ever wanted.

They kiss a lot more that night, innocent and quiet in the half-light, curled around each other until they fall asleep.

There's a big day coming up for them tomorrow.


End file.
